Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Randomize
