Midget sex pt 2 tonight
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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