Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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