I molested 6 butterflies tonight
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
