I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
