things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
