Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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