We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
it's like iHOP with fire
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
