i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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