Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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