u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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