spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
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