but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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