when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
