Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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