Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
When are your genitals available?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
