shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
