Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
