All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
