so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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