does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
