5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Randomize
