He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
