apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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