Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
