Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
