I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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