Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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