He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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