I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
