she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
