Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
