no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
