considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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