I looked at my own cervix.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
stop calling my apartment porn island.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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