3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
