I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
