He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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