remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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