Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
