We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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