i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
