do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
