i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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