Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
