This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
