Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
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