someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
