I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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