All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
