Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Randomize
