She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
