Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
