they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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