her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Randomize