dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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